Malachy: A father’s story of love, laughter and loss
On 1st March 1999, Dom Frawley was a rural general practitioner, providing medical care to a few hundred families through a small cottage practice. He and his wife Maggie were due to deliver their fourth child any day. Dom worked daily with people at their most vulnerable: sick, powerless, and often fearful or distressed. His job was to help carry them through.
By nightfall on 2nd March, Dom and Maggie were the ones needing help. Their newborn child was critically ill, flown by helicopter to an intensive care unit in Sydney. The baby’s life rested in the hands of Dom’s former colleagues.
Malachy had a major heart defect, making him a ‘blue baby’. His family were forced to experience the medical system from the patient side, walking with Malachy in a prolonged struggle with severe disability. Fear for the future stalked enjoyment of the present. Drawing on Maggie’s love, his passion for philosophy and innate optimism, Dom navigated a slow path to equilibrium. A deep father-son bond developed, enriching the lives of both.
Malachy’s heart disease inspired Maggie and Dom into activist roles with HeartKids. Dom adds “Malachy had taken up activism for the HeartKids movement and became an inspiration amongst his peers, and to many who crossed his path. The burden of heart disease brought a certain type of meaning and definition to our lives. All the while we had to balance the cause against the needs of three other children, and the demands of work and daily life.”
Then Malachy died. Life changed again. The carefully built framework of family life, Dom’s beliefs and ability to cope came up against life’s irresistible, final challenge.
Malachy: A father’s story of love, laughter and loss explores the bond of love between a parent and their child. It is a reminder of how treasured and important all children are. It is also a story about living with the agony of loss. The story touches what it means to love and be loved, to stare down hostile fate with a sense of humour, and to embrace life with courage and resilience.
On 1st March 1999, Dom Frawley was a rural general practitioner, providing medical care to a few hundred families through a small cottage practice. He and his wife Maggie were due to deliver their fourth child any day. Dom worked daily with people at their most vulnerable: sick, powerless, and often fearful or distressed. His job was to help carry them through.
By nightfall on 2nd March, Dom and Maggie were the ones needing help. Their newborn child was critically ill, flown by helicopter to an intensive care unit in Sydney. The baby’s life rested in the hands of Dom’s former colleagues.
Malachy had a major heart defect, making him a ‘blue baby’. His family were forced to experience the medical system from the patient side, walking with Malachy in a prolonged struggle with severe disability. Fear for the future stalked enjoyment of the present. Drawing on Maggie’s love, his passion for philosophy and innate optimism, Dom navigated a slow path to equilibrium. A deep father-son bond developed, enriching the lives of both.
Malachy’s heart disease inspired Maggie and Dom into activist roles with HeartKids. Dom adds “Malachy had taken up activism for the HeartKids movement and became an inspiration amongst his peers, and to many who crossed his path. The burden of heart disease brought a certain type of meaning and definition to our lives. All the while we had to balance the cause against the needs of three other children, and the demands of work and daily life.”
Then Malachy died. Life changed again. The carefully built framework of family life, Dom’s beliefs and ability to cope came up against life’s irresistible, final challenge.
Malachy: A father’s story of love, laughter and loss explores the bond of love between a parent and their child. It is a reminder of how treasured and important all children are. It is also a story about living with the agony of loss. The story touches what it means to love and be loved, to stare down hostile fate with a sense of humour, and to embrace life with courage and resilience.
On 1st March 1999, Dom Frawley was a rural general practitioner, providing medical care to a few hundred families through a small cottage practice. He and his wife Maggie were due to deliver their fourth child any day. Dom worked daily with people at their most vulnerable: sick, powerless, and often fearful or distressed. His job was to help carry them through.
By nightfall on 2nd March, Dom and Maggie were the ones needing help. Their newborn child was critically ill, flown by helicopter to an intensive care unit in Sydney. The baby’s life rested in the hands of Dom’s former colleagues.
Malachy had a major heart defect, making him a ‘blue baby’. His family were forced to experience the medical system from the patient side, walking with Malachy in a prolonged struggle with severe disability. Fear for the future stalked enjoyment of the present. Drawing on Maggie’s love, his passion for philosophy and innate optimism, Dom navigated a slow path to equilibrium. A deep father-son bond developed, enriching the lives of both.
Malachy’s heart disease inspired Maggie and Dom into activist roles with HeartKids. Dom adds “Malachy had taken up activism for the HeartKids movement and became an inspiration amongst his peers, and to many who crossed his path. The burden of heart disease brought a certain type of meaning and definition to our lives. All the while we had to balance the cause against the needs of three other children, and the demands of work and daily life.”
Then Malachy died. Life changed again. The carefully built framework of family life, Dom’s beliefs and ability to cope came up against life’s irresistible, final challenge.
Malachy: A father’s story of love, laughter and loss explores the bond of love between a parent and their child. It is a reminder of how treasured and important all children are. It is also a story about living with the agony of loss. The story touches what it means to love and be loved, to stare down hostile fate with a sense of humour, and to embrace life with courage and resilience.
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2021 | 9781925893656 | 338 pages | Paperback | 234 x 153 mm | Memoir
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fatherhood, parenting, family relationships, health, illness, death of a child, suffering, healing, remembrance, love, Malachy, doctor, general practice, HeartKids, heart disease
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Praise for Malachy
‘The beautiful boy staring out from the book cover was sunshine itself. I was lucky to meet Malachy in an all too familiar setting for Maggie and Dom, at Sydney’s Westmead hospital. Malachy stole your heart in an instant. He’d be very proud of his Dad and his family, who have crafted an exquisite tribute to his remarkable life. With an eloquence and insight that comes in part from overwhelming pain and loss, Dom has written a book that speaks to all the complexities of the human experience. This is so much more than a guidebook to being the parents of a Heartkid; it’s a deeply profound memoir about the meaning of life. In his life, Malachy bestowed his special gifts on everyone who knew him. With this magnificent book, Dom conveys the Malachy magic to all, reminding us again that we can never take a single day for granted.’
—Simon Reeve, television presenter, journalist,podcaster and HeartKids Ambassador
‘A beautiful book and an eye-opener for all of us involved in the care of children with heart problems. Always well-intentioned but often messy, their story is a good reminder of how we can improve. Dom and Maggie’s relationship with Malachy, and their investment of precious time in the development of HeartKids, both have interesting back stories. Their loss is enormous. Dom’s thoughtful humanity shines as a guiding light throughout.’
— David Winlaw, Professor of Surgery, cardiothoracic surgeon, researcher, Cincinnati Children’s Hospital Medical Center
‘Dominic Frawley’s loving elegy to his cherished son is deeply moving. It is a beautiful celebration of young Malachy’s life and the family who adored him. As it moves from heart-warming to heart-rending ... to heart-wrenching, there are also moments where you will laugh out loud. (‘They’re crying! Get the social worker!’ had me chortling and smiling for some time.) Ultimately, Malachy is a supremely uplifting story of an irrepressible soul, beloved forever and immortalised in this tribute.’
— Cindy Pan, medical practitioner, bestselling author, media personality
‘Joy and grief, philosophy and faith, and the everlasting bond between father and son. Through one life, Frawley explores the things that make us – and almost break us.’
— Allison Tait (A.L. Tait), bestselling author middle-grade adventure series The Mapmaker Chronicles and the Ateban Cipher
Malachy explores the bond of love between a parent and their child. It is a reminder of how treasured and important all children are. It is also a story about living with the agony of loss. The story touches what it means to love and be loved, to stare down hostile fate with a sense of humour, and to embrace life with courage and resilience
“Suffering doesn’t have to break us. It can teach us to love. A beautifully written book about a beautifully loved child: this family did something special under huge stress, and we can all take heart from it.”
Dominic Frawley AM was raised in Sydney, the product of an English mother, with a Royal Navy and spy service background, and an Australian father who sprung out of rural Queensland to become an eminent surgeon. He lives with his wife, Maggie, on the New South Wales south coast. Read more